"There's Drool in My Beer Over You"
                      -A Nunkies Interlude
                      By Cousin Bons    
                      Dedicated To Third Cousin Patt


 You stroll dejectedly into the crummy dive, cursing your rotten addicted
 luck: all the other NA members get hosed, exercised, shaved, doctored and
 lettuced by Nunkies. What do you get? Nuttin'. Not even a Mountie, and a
 Mountie would be an awful nice start to helping this Nunkies craving.

 Shoulders hunched, head drooping, you approach the bar and mumble an order 
 for a Big Beer in a Bottle<tm> under your breath. You're all ready to drown 
 your Nunkies dreams in a brew. A strong, elegant hand placing a coaster
 in front of you brings your attention back to your surroundings. Your Big 
 Beer in a Bottle<tm> soon follows. You feel an immediate salivary reaction 
 kick in, and cover your drooling by a quick swig from your drink. Then, 
 feeling a wave of excitement growing in your belly, you look up.

 Nunkies is your bartender. Your mouth falls open as you examine every nook 
 of his outfit. He's wearing tight, black leather pants and a devastatingly
 elegant black silk shirt, unbuttoned just enough to make you want to finish 
 the job. You hear another customer call out a beer order, and immediately 
 begin to pray fervently to the God of Tight Buns that Nunkies turns around 
 and bends over to get something out of the beerfridge. Your prayers are 
 answered.

 You let out a happy, melty sigh at the view. When Nunkies turns around 
 again, he gives you a knowing smile, as though he can read your mind.
 "Are you going to drink that beer, my dear, or play with it?"

 "Well, I'd rather not drink it from the bottle," you say with a mischevious 
 grin.

 "What would you like?" Nunkies replies. "A glass, perhaps? Whatever you'd 
 like, be my guest."

 "Well, since you offered....."

 You immediately splash the entire contents of your Big Beer in a Bottle<tm>
 on his shirt and down his front. The black silk clings to his chest like a 
 second skin.

 "Now, I'm feeling mighty thirsty," you announce.

 Nunkies gives a seductive chuckle, then replies, "I *did* offer whatever you
 would like."

 As you leap over the bar counter, one other thought manages to pop into your 
 lust-crazed brain: <I just gotta buy some Coors stock.>

 *********************
 Fin