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Better than Chocolate Chips--an Epilog, of sorts

By Patt Elmore

(Posted with Bonnie's permission)

Time:  Twelve days later
Music:  Any of Mollin's mood music from the FK series <sigh>


Patt stood on the tiny raised platform at the front of the Crown's
courtroom in downtown Toronto's illustrious hall of justice.  Being a
major criminal, by Canadian standards, Patt was handcuffed.  The white
wigged magistrate looked up from the papers spread before him, his nose
wrinkled in distaste.

"A cray-fish pie?" he inquired, peering over his black rimmed glasses at
the middle-aged American woman.  "What would possess an intelligent
woman, as you appear to be, to bake bait into a pastry shell, unless it
'were'  for covert purposes?"

"Your judgeship!" Patt tried to stifle a wail at her predicament.  "Down
in Louisiana, where I come from, mudbugs are a delicacy!  How did I know
that your local chef wouldn't know what to do with them?"

The magistrate watched in some fascination at Patt dropped her chin and
pulled a folded piece of paper from her pocket with her teeth.  She
thrust her face toward Kim, her most excellent pro bono barrister,
beckoning her to take the paper.  The folded note floated toward the
courtroom floor and Kim, most worthy legal representative, caught it in
mid-air.

"This is the recipe I gave the chef at the Jeweled Peach, along with the
10lb bag of boiled crawfish,"  Patt explained as the barrister handed the
note to the bailiff, who in turn handed it to the magistrate.  "If you'll
notice, it is a standard Louisiana recipe torn from the pages of a
reputable Cajun cookbook."

As the judge perused the paper, Patt continued talking.  "Notice the
first or second ingredient, your honor."  Catching the judge's look of
interest as he took note of what Patt was referring to, the southern girl
bore down on her defense.  "That word is file'. FEE-LAY," the Louisianan
drawled the word as only a resident of her state could do.

"Now, you might ask," Patt proceded, as the magistrate continued reading
the recipe with pronounced interest.  "WHAT is file'?  File' is powdered
sassafras leaves and is a crucial ingredient in Cajun cooking.

"How was I to know, being a stranger in your wonderful country, that the
chef would not know what file' was, and would mistake it for 'FILE?'

"That, your honor-sir," Patt said decisively, "is how the file got in the
crawfish pie that I sent to my good friend, Jules, and our mutual buddy,
Bonnie.  I am innocent of any wrongdoing--it was all a mistake!"

Patt quieted and waited as the magistrate finished reading the recipe and
then beckoned for the bailiff.  After speaking in hushed tones for a
moment, the bailiff disappeared into the back room, then returned a few
moments later, an interesting expression on his face.  He spoke briefly
to the magistrate, who looked at Patt, who stood quietly in the docket.

With a pound of the gavel,  his judgeship pronounced, "Case dismissed."

A cheer went up from those in the Courtroom as the bailiff unlocked
Patt's handcuffs.  Gingerly rubbing her wrists where the metal had
chafed, she stepped down from the docket and shook hands with her
attorney.

"Nice work, Kimberly," Patt said happily.  "It's great that you were able
to represent me here in TO."

"My pleasure, Patt," Kim returned, snapping the lid of her briefcase
shut. "Just, please--try to stay out of trouble for the rest of your time
on this side of the border.  Now, I think you have some 'friends' waiting
for you."

Turning, Patt was greeted by the the waiting arms of her compatriots--
Jules, Bonnie, Devo and Watson.  From the back of the room, LaCroix
nodded in satisfaction, Annie happily clinging to his arm.  The General
gave the American contingent a slight nod for a campaign well fought,
then disappeared out the back doorway with a smiling Annie.  'Thank
goodness Canada has night court,'  Patt thought, watching His Greatness
depart.  'This whole thing was almost worth it, just to catch a glimpse
of *him*. <sigh>'

"Great defense," Jules congratulated Patt.

"Yes," Bonnie nodded, barely able to control a bounce.  "You should have
been a lawyer."

"Maybe," Patt said, happily linking arms with her friends and heading out
the door, "but I don't want to risk getting tied up in Court, when I'd
rather be doing cousinly things with my cuz's.

"Now," Patt grinned evilly at the two other ladies (?), "What say we go
find that 'real' crawfish pie I had made and 'pinch some tales?'"

Laughing, the women left, preceded by the Jack Russell and the Whippet.  

Yes indeed, sometimes life could be better than chocolate.

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Patt
Third Cousin twice removed on my Mother's side
New NA:  "Someone--Please help me!"
Defender of the Juled Crown, Keeper of the Korn Pone
Pattelmore@juno.com