Open Arms

  Nick jerked the sliding door open and stormed into the loft. <What a  lousy night!> He couldn't believe that Reese had ordered him to take  leave! He still felt the embarrassment that had settled over him as the  captain's lecture penetrated his thoroughly rotten mood. 

Flashback:  Two hours earlier.

 "Nick, could I see you in my office, please?" Joe Reese had asked as he  paused by Nick's desk.  "Captain, I....!" Nick growled.  "Now, Detective!" Reese barked. Striding into his office, he silently  considered how to best approach Nick on this subject. He was one of his  best officers, but sometimes Detective Nicholas B. Knight could be a  handful to deal with. Looking up, he saw Nick fidgeting in the doorway.  "Close the door and sit down," he began. This was going to be hard  enough without Nick hovering near the door, ready to bolt.  As the detective eased into the chair, Reese looked him over. Noticing all  the tension on Nick's face, he wished he could delay this discussion;  however, considering how volatile Nick's temper had become lately, he  knew the situation couldn't be allowed to continue. 

I've received several complaints concerning your behavior over the past  few weeks."  "Captain..." Nick began but Reese waved him back to silence.  "Nick, I've watched your frustration level climb through the roof. I  haven't called you on it since I figured you would eventually handle it,  but...." Glancing down at the picture of his wife and family, Reese  hesitated.  "Captain, I know I've been... difficult lately," Nick interjected during =  the pause in Reese's admonishment.  "Difficult, Nick? Try impossible!"

"Captain..." he began.  "I want you to go home and try to relax. Maybe if you took a vacation, it  might help you unwind. I don't want you back here until you're rested  and ready to work. Understand?" Reese stated firmly.  "Captain, I can't leave now! I have to finish all the paperwork on those

two cases we closed yesterday, not to mention the reports on that fiasco  that put my partner on sick leave. He's lucky that all he did was break his  arm on that bust!" Thoughts of his current partner lying on the street,  writhing in pain merged with the memories of Tracy, leaving a wave of  depression behind. Sighing, Nick stood up and faced his captain.  "No arguments, Detective. Your partner is due back in a couple of days.

He can finish the paperwork," Reese insisted firmly. Rising, he walked  around his desk and placed a hand on Nick's shoulders. "I'm talking to  you as a friend now; I'm worried about you. You need to step back from  everything for a while. I want you to take some time off."  "Captain, I don't need a vacation!" Nick snapped, his temper starting to  rise.  "That's an order, Detective! I don't want to see your face in here for at  least two weeks! Clear?" Reese opened the door and calmly guided  Knight out of his office.  Nick slowly headed for his desk. Looking at all the papers scattered  about his desk, he had to admit he would rather do anything else but  paperwork, however .... Nick took a deep breath, glanced back at Reese --

and acknowledged to himself that the captain was probably right.

Marking himself off the assignment board, Nick walked out of the  precinct and headed for his car. He knew that he had a lot to think about.

While he drove through the city, Nick took a firm hold on his emotions  and considered Reese's comments. He thought about the last several  months, finally recognizing how erratic he had been. <Reese is right.  When was the last time I felt relaxed.> he mused. "I could visit Janette in  Europe, but she's probably still angry with me. Who's available?" he  murmured under his breath as he pulled into the garage.

As the elevator climbed to the loft, Nick shook his head and muttered,  "No... I don't dare let that relationship start up again. I can't...."

Memories rushed by as he leaned against the back of the elevator.

Feeling his frustration rising again, he pushed away from the wall and  jerked the elevator door open.  Two days later:

{Living without you, living alone  This empty house seems so cold}  Nick was standing in front of a half finished painting, brooding. His  thoughts kept returning to his partner, Chris Grey. He had been injured  during a simple bust over a week ago. Staring at the spiral of color as it  dried, he wrestled with his dilemma.  Weighing the good he did against the evil the vampire represented was an  intricate problem; particularly when it was the vampire's abilities that  had saved Chris' life. Horrendous depression and guilt had nearly suffocated  him when Tracy had been killed. It wasn't something he wanted to  repeat. Reese and Chris were the only humans he had allowed to  penetrate inside his self-imposed barrier since that day. This close call  only fueled his feelings of isolation as he again pulled back from the  humans he worked with.

However, in pulling back, he felt an emptiness appear in his life. Very  few of the friends he had made in this lifetime were still around to fill  that void. <Be honest> he thought to himself, <there's only one person  available whose capable of taking care of that particular problem.>

Clamping down on that thread of thought, Nick slowly climbed the stairs,  heading for his bed.

Nick jerked awake, dimly recalling a restless, unsettling dream. He  rubbed his forehead absently, trying to recall what had awakened him.

Closing his eyes, he gathered up the wisps of the lingering dream. As he  began to recognize the emerging pattern, he forced the thoughts away, not  wanting to deal with them now. Bringing his arm up across his eyes, he  tried to relax and go back to sleep; instead all he did was toss.

Old memories were trying to resurface; memories he had thought buried  long ago. At the center of all this unrest within him was... LaCroix.

After all the fighting and all the hateful words, he still couldn't kill the  feelings that he had buried deep inside.  One memory in particular kept pushing into his mind. <Even my  memories are ganging up on me> Nick thought a little sourly as he rose  from his bed and began to dress. He walked into the kitchen and poured  himself a glass of cow's blood. Grimacing at the taste, he settled on the  couch, finally ready to face the flood of emotions that always  accompanied this memory.  Flashback 1750's:  Paris, France  They had hosted a small party, with a liberal sprinkling of merchants and  noblemen. LaCroix didn't like associating with humans; however, he was  willing to put up with the inconveniences if they advanced his business  ventures.

Nicholas mingled with the guests, dancing and entertaining the ladies  until the night was nearly gone. LaCroix quietly strolled around the  room, talking to an occasional acquaintance or potential business contact.  All the while, he was ever aware of Nicholas out on the dance floor or  flirting with the lower ranked noblewomen at their gathering. He knew  his son was enjoying himself immensely.

Watching his son socialize with the guests, LaCroix felt a twinge of  jealously at the attention Nicholas was showing the mortals. He was  thankful when the clock chimed 5 in the morning. Now, he would have  Nicholas all to himself. Standing in the doorway, father and son said  their farewell's to the guests and retired to their bed.  {Lying beside you, so safe and secure  Passions flare up like wildfire}  They were laying on a large, down covered bed with the curtains drawn  against the bright day. LaCroix had his arms wrapped around his  favorite, his Nicholas. He was aware that his son was dreaming by the  obscure thoughts filtering through the link. Contentment was evident in  his expression as he laid on his side, with his chin resting against the top  of his sleeping son's head. The soft, blond locks that were rubbing  against LaCroix's throat felt sensual and pleasant.

Shifting slightly, LaCroix lifted his hand and gently stroked the bare arm  and shoulder that lay in front of him. His desire grew at the feel of the  smooth skin under his fingertips. Lightly drawing his hand up the arm,  he then ran his fingers into the wavy hair that topped this child he loved. =

Gently fingering the soft, bright colored strands, LaCroix smiled as he  began to trace back down the shoulder until he reached his son's wrist.  Fingers caressing his skin slowly dragged Nicholas out of his slumber.

Stretching his arms and legs with a soft drawn out sigh, the young  vampire tilted his head back for a glimpse of his bed mate.

"LaCroix...?" Nicholas asked, still half asleep. "Why aren't you asleep?  It's early morning."

"I didn't feel like sleeping Nicholas." LaCroix's voice was deep and  sensual. Leaning down until his lips were next to his son's ear, LaCroix  asked with a small smile on his lips, "Care to join me...?"

"What did you have in mind, LaCroix?" Nicholas teased with an easy,  light tone and a growing smile.  Present:  {We walked through history together  We drifted apart  But, for now, you are by my side}  Growling at himself for letting the old memories resurface, Nick rose  from the couch and glided to the piano. Taking a firm hold of the  emotions that were struggling to break free, he began to play. As Nick  tried to let his loneliness and aggravation flow out with the music, he  thought about the last eight centuries with LaCroix. <What are my  feelings concerning LaCroix? Is he the monster I hate, or the father I  need and love?>  Feeling restless, he reached into the refrigerator for a full bottle, then  jerked the cork out and tossed it away. Nick felt the Hunger swiftly  uncoil when the blood scent rose from the green bottle. Drifting over to  the stairs, he slowly sat down and tilted the bottle up, draining half the  contents before slowly lowering it down in front of him. As Nick silently  sat, staring at the bottle, he suddenly shook his head and murmured, "And  what does he feel for me.... Really? Is it possession or affection that  motivates him?" Feeling his tension winding tighter, Nick realized that  he couldn't sit still any longer and rose to begin pacing again.

Turning on the CD player as he passed it, Nick stopped when he suddenly  found himself in the living room. The sound of the green bottle being  dropped onto the coffee table echoed over the music. Turning to the  fireplace, he leaned his forearm against the mantle and stared into the fire  as Mozart softly filled the loft. He suddenly realized that he couldn't  remember the last time he had really felt happy. <So, what changes will  make me happy?> Nick mused as he rested his forehead on his arm,  while sliding his other hand into his pants pocket. He was aroused from  his introspection when he felt the vibration that announced the arrival of  his master, Lucien LaCroix.

LaCroix was standing behind the couch, looming tall and pale, with a  black leather coat covering his dark suit. Icy blue eyes regarded his son  as he removed the coat, tossing it onto the nearby chair.

"How have you been, Nicholas? I have not heard a word from you in  weeks," LaCroix asked as he moved to sit down on the couch. Noting the  tautness exhibited by his son, he continued. "I have felt some disturbing  things from you these past several days. I hesitate to inquire... what is  wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, LaCroix. I'm fine." Nick replied as he sat down on the  other end of the couch. Glancing over to LaCroix, he continued, "I took  some time off from my job. I thought I would paint... or compose."

Nick grimaced slightly as he looked back at the fire. "Things have been a  little... tense lately." Smiling slightly, he added, "I thought I could use  the break."

"Indeed. I believe you might be right, Nicholas. The tension I have been  feeling from you has been quite bothersome." Looking over at the fire  briefly, LaCroix continued, "Have you thought about dancing?"

Nick stared at his master. "Dancing?!!" He couldn't keep the disbelief out  of his voice. "Are you joking, LaCroix?!"

"Not at all, Nicholas. I seem to remember how much you loved to dance,  not all that long ago." LaCroix quietly stated as he watched his favorite  child. "It has been said dancing is a great tension reliever. Of course the  right partner is also necessary." <If I can just give him a little push in the  right direction.> LaCroix thought as he observed his son thinking. He  could feel how tightly Nick was wound. The tension that was radiating  off his child was almost visible.

"Dancing..." Looking back to the fire, Nick let his thoughts slide back to  the memories that had been interrupted earlier.  Flashback 1750's:  Paris, France

Turning in LaCroix's grasp, Nicholas smiled at the invitation he had just  received as he settled on his left side, his head resting on his hand.  "I thought we could dance to an older rhythm this morning, Nicholas.

We have enjoyed this particular dance many times in the past." LaCroix'  voice caressed Nicholas as he brought his hand up to his child's face and  brushed the tangled hair back. Lightly tracing the youthful planes of his  son's face with his fingers, LaCroix watched the mirth appear in the blue  eyes that were gazing back at him.

Nicholas leaned in and kissed his master's full lips. The kiss was light  and teasing at first, but it quickly deepened as LaCroix returned it with  passion and need. Nicholas felt his lover's tongue lightly outline his lips.  Complying to the unspoken suggestion, he opened his mouth and let the  questing tongue meet with his own. He hardly noticed LaCroix' arm as it  slipped around his back, pulling him closer.

Breaking from the kiss, LaCroix rolled Nicholas over onto his back. "I  noticed you had a good time flirting with the baron's wife tonight."  LaCroix began. Looking down at his son, he continued, "As well as  Mueller's daughter from what I could see."

"Yes, I did." Nicholas replied, smiling at the memory of both women  leaning against him as they had circled the dance floor. He had danced  with several people, but these two ladies had been escorted to the floor  for several waltzes before the night was over. "Why...do you mind?" he  asked, frowning slightly, not sure if his master was angry about it or not.

Resting on his elbow, the ancient vampire leaned over his son and placed  his left hand against Nicholas' face, his spread fingers disappearing into  the wavy blond hair. Brushing his thumb back and forth across his son's  jaw and mouth, LaCroix softly said, "Just be sure that flirtation is all that  develops. I don't want any trouble coming from those two right now."

As he tilted Nicholas' head back a little, exposing the front of his throat,  LaCroix continued with a touch of humor in his voice, "Now where were  we.... Ahhh, yes." Bending his head down, he began applying tongue and  fang tips to the area.

Nicholas closed his eyes and sighed in total bliss. He was awash in  sensations; between the sensual touch of his master on his very sensitive  neck area, to the growing awareness of skin touching skin down his groin  and leg. He felt his fangs starting to ache as LaCroix began nipping  down his body.

Gasping as a fang pierced his chest, Nicholas arched into his master's  touch. Their link was strengthening with their climbing passion.

Nicholas could feel LaCroix's desire for him burning through the link as  his master licked his way from one scratch to the next, savoring the  enticing drops.  <Wanting to hold you, wanting you near  How much I wanted you home>  Present:  Faced with the emotions from the past, Nick felt overwhelmed by the  strength of his fears and desires. Jumping up from the couch, he began  pacing again. He wasn't sure he could deal with the ramifications if he  followed through with this. <How could I begin to consider this! Do I  trust LaCroix enough to allow this to happen?!> Nick thought as he paced  behind the couch.

LaCroix could feel the tension mounting in Nicholas. He watched the  younger vampire pace a moment, then moved to intercept him. He knew  something had to be done to relieve the stress that was vibrating along  their link.

Finding his path blocked, Nick glanced up as a strong hand dropped on  his shoulder. Looking at his master, he noticed the concern on LaCroix's  face.

"Nicholas, you are letting your frustrations tear you apart. You must find  some way to calm yourself." LaCroix's deep voice intoned. "It pains me  to feel you in this much distress."

Glancing down at the floor, Nick softly said, "I.... know... I've been really  wired lately." Looking LaCroix in the eyes, Nick plunged ahead, "I need  to trust you, LaCroix-- I just don't know if I can." His voice cracked  as he finally vocalized the one question that he was really afraid of asking. 

"*Can* you accept me as I am?" He knew LaCroix could feel the loneliness and fear that  were hammering at him through the link. 

Part 2

All comments can be sent to me, April, at: knightwave@aol.com or knightwave@juno.com

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