The Unimagined
by Nora Avalon

So bitter was I then
So full of spite
So easy it had seemed
To turn to night
I saw in you a kind of new
Salvation
But found in you instead
My condemnation
I dreamed of endless youth
And perfect love
I thought you'd be a kind
And gentle one
How could I have known
What lay ahead
That I would win this hellish life
Instead
I must have angered God
In my life past
For which I earned this pain
Yet unsurpassed

Don't whisper sweet good-nights
Like those I dream of
Don't kiss me soft good-byes
Don't lie, my love
Just slit my throbbing wrist
With a torrid bite
Spill my fevered blood
And douse the light
Don't let me see my face
It mocks me so
Don't make me watch the miserable
Crimson flow
I feel your power, your fears
Your sorrows and pains
Your lust and anger and viciousness
Swell my veins
And though I am quite shocked
It comes to this
Your torture brings me 
Unencumbered bliss

You are my only love, my precious friend
And I your faithful son, until the end

January '99