Forgiveness
by Kathy Whelton

drama
explicit m/m
LC/N

Nick & Co. are the property of JP & Co. I'm only borrowing them for a little while.

I give my permission for this story to be archived if deemed worthy.

Nick flew up and into the night sky. He watched as the figure of LaCroix and the burning pile that had been Divia receded into the distance. So much had happened tonight, but right now his thoughts were on Natalie. Nick knew how worried she had been when they left the morgue. Divia was killing all those around LaCroix and she was concerned that he would be next. He wanted to see her, to let her know that everything was all right.

Nick landed softly on the balcony of her apartment. It was 3:30 in the morning and if she had fallen asleep he didn't want to disturb her.

He peered into the window and saw Natalie sitting on the couch with Sydney on her lap trying to watch an old movie. Nick opened the sliders and stepped in.

"You really should lock that you know, you never know who is going to be coming in your windows at three a.m."

"Nick!" Natalie jumped up sending Sydney flying. She rushed over to him and threw her arms around him. "Thank God you're OK. I was so worried about you."

They embraced for a few moments, then Nick spoke. "It is all over. Divia is dead, hopefully for good this time."

Nick and Natalie settled onto the couch.

"Well?" Natalie gave Nick a shove on the arm. "Tell me what happened."

"Divia was waiting for me when I got back to the loft. We fought, and I basically took a dive. I let her think she had killed me fairly easily. I knew that once she thought I was dead she would go after LaCroix. That gave me back the advantage of surprise. I followed her back to the Raven. She and LaCroix were going at it pretty good when I arrived. She never even realized I was there until it was too late." Nick paused in his story, then he took a deep breath and continued. "I came up behind her and staked her through the back - really honorable stuff." Nick rested his face in his hands.

"You had no choice, Nick. She would have killed you both of you. She had tried once already. Look what happened to Vachon and Urs."

Nick needed no reminder of the deaths of his friends. It was just so hard for him to believe they were gone. And poor Tracy, he was not at all sure that what he had asked LaCroix to do was the right thing. Perhaps he should just go to her and explain everything. At least then he could comfort her.

"I know there was nothing else to be done. That doesn't necessarily make it any easier." Nick admitted.

"I can't believe that LaCroix never told you any of this."

"LaCroix has never been one to let his weakness show. Even he considered her a monster, and he held himself responsible. It was something he didn't want to face in himself. I think I know how he feels."

"You can't compare yourself to Divia , Nick. You're not a monster." Natalie put her arm around him and tried to reassure him.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Nat." Nick smiled. "What I am now is absolutely exhausted. I'm going to be heading home." Nick rose to leave.

"You could stay here today." Natalie offered.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm a mess, I'm hungry and the loft is trashed. This way I'll have some time to put a few things back together before work tonight."

"You're planning on going in tonight?" Nat asked.

"Well I did consider calling and saying my grandmother had died." Nick grinned. "But there would be all those messy details to explain. It's always better for me to keep busy anyway. I'll see you tonight."

Nick stepped out the door and disappeared into the night.

***************************

Nick arrived back at the loft shortly before sunrise. Even before he opened the door he sensed LaCroix's presence. LaCroix was standing, staring into the fire. He did not acknowledge Nick's entry into the loft.

"Is everything all right LaCroix?"

"I have scattered my daughter's ashes to the winds Nicholas, if that is what you are asking. She will trouble us no more." LaCroix started. "I'm not sure I thanked you properly for saving my life tonight, quite amazing really, considering that not so long ago you were trying to kill me yourself."

"A lot has happened since then." was Nick's reply. "I do wish you had told me about this a long time ago. It makes a lot of things easier to understand."

"Easier to understand perhaps, but it really doesn't change anything. I fear Divia has gotten her wish, I am alone."

"You are not alone LaCroix, I am here if you need me." Nick stepped over to LaCroix and put his hand on LaCroix's shoulder.

LaCroix looked at Nick for a long time then he leaned toward Nick and tenderly kissed him on the lips.

Nick was unsure of how to respond to the sudden shift in the dynamic. "We are both exhausted, LaCroix, perhaps we should get some sleep. Things will be a lot clearer this evening, after some rest."

"I am seeing things very clearly right now Nicholas, and what I need right now is not sleep. What I need right now is you." LaCroix reached down and took both of Nick's hands into his own.

Nick shifted uncomfortably. He had never seen LaCroix so vulnerable, exposing himself so openly to Nick's rejection. He had slowly come to see LaCroix not as the monster he had once thought him to be but someone just as trapped as he was. Nick really did not want to destroy the fragile relationship that seemed to be developing between them, but he also wondered what the ultimate cost of submission might be.

"I'm not sure..."

"I'm sure enough for both of us, Nicholas. I need to not be alone tonight." LaCroix caressed the side of Nick's face and began stroking his hair.

Nick hesitated, then he leaned forward and returned the kiss. LaCroix's hands went quickly to the buttons of Nick's shirt. He undid them swiftly then tossed Nick's shirt and jacket onto the floor. LaCroix ran his hands across Nick's chest and back, then kissed Nick again much more passionately than before. He quickly discarded his own shirt and took Nicholas by the hand and led him to the couch. LaCroix turned his attention to Nicholas's pants. He unbuckled the belt and slid the trousers off of Nick's hips. Nick sat down and finished taking his pants off. LaCroix's lips were on him immediately, showering his inner thighs with kisses.

Nick's excitement grew rapidly, his penis swelling. LaCroix ran his tongue playfully down the erect member, then took the shaft into his mouth. He began softly sucking. Nicholas cried out in pleasure, then climaxed with an embarrassing swiftness.

"This celibate lifestyle you have been living has done you no good, Nicholas." remarked LaCroix.

"I'm sorry." Nick replied softly.

"No matter, I actually had something else in mind." LaCroix responded as he finished undressing. Firmly but gently LaCroix turned Nicholas and positioned him so that Nick was kneeling on the floor, his upper body resting across the seat of the couch. LaCroix spread Nick's legs apart with his knee. It had been a long time, a very long time since he had taken his son in this way and the anticipation threatened to overwhelm him.

Nick tensed and withdrew from the first intrusion.

"Nicholas?"

"Go ahead, LaCroix." came the strained reply.

LaCroix sat back."Nicholas, if this is not something you want, I have no desire to force you."

Nick hesitated briefly, then turned and faced his lover, his master. "I can't lie to you LaCroix, you'll know the truth soon enough in my blood." he paused. "But there is nothing wrong with my wanting this for *you*."

Nick kissed LaCroix passionately on the lips, his tongue exploring the others mouth. Nick pulled LaCroix closer and began massaging his flagging member. LaCroix felt his desire returning. He was overwhelmed by this remarkable gift his son was giving him.

Nick turned his back to LaCroix once again and rested across sofa. LaCroix began slowly rubbing Nick's back, planting it with soft kisses. He then moistened his fingertips with saliva and began stroking Nick's still tightened orifice. Slowly LaCroix inserted his finger into Nick rectum, moving it easily back and forth. He felt Nick slowly begin to relax. LaCroix withdrew his fingers and gently entered him.

Nick felt his fear and tension return, he forced himself to relax into the pressure. Memories came to him, memories of a time when LaCroix's advances were not always so considerate. He pushed them away. He thought back on how kind and patient LaCroix had been the first time he had taken him like this. There had been so much love between them then. He clung to the memory.

Pain slowly became pleasure as Nick accepted the full length of LaCroix's cool shaft into him. A soft moan escaped Nick's lips as he began rocking back and forth.

LaCroix's rhythm quickened and Nick sensed his growing excitement. Nick arched up and tilted his head, exposing his neck for LaCroix. Immediately he felt his master's fangs sink into him.

The warm blood exploded in LaCroix's mouth. He tasted love there. Not the desire or passion for him that he would have hoped, but love. Love, acceptance, forgiveness. The feelings warmed his cold heart.

Nick's excitement had been building as well. He took LaCroix's hand and bit deeply into his wrist. He felt LaCroix's seed explode within him. They both lay still for a while. Nick felt LaCroix's now limp member slip from him. They climbed up onto the couch and into each others arms.

"Thank you Nicholas." LaCroix whispered into his ear.

"Your welcome, LaCroix." was Nick's reply.

They were both asleep in minutes.

Natalie was worried about Nick. He had seemed so worn this morning when he left. He had lost two friends yesterday, two friends who were never supposed to die. Natalie also knew that the blood link between himself and Divia bothered him more than he would probably admit. She thought a surprise visit might help cheer him up, and she could help him clean up the loft as well.

Natalie took the back stairs up to Nick's apartment. If he was still asleep, she didn't want the elevator to wake him. Natalie stepped in and noticed Nick's clothes scattered on the floor. She froze as she stepped nearer to the couch. On the couch were Nick and LaCroix. They both appeared to be sound asleep, they were also both totally naked, their limbs intertwined.

Natalie began backing her way to the door. She forced herself to go slowly and quietly. She had to get out of there before one of them woke up.

Almost two hours later Nick was jolted from his sleep by the sound of his answering machine clicking on.

"Knight, this is Capt. Reese. I know it is a little early but I have a couple of guys out sick and now your partner has booked off for a couple days with some personal crisis."

Nick picked up the phone. "I'm here Capt." He got the address of the murder scene from Joe Reese. Natalie was already at the scene. Nick put down the phone. He was alone in the loft.

Nick arrived at the site of the murder. It was a cab driver, he had been shot, his body slumped across the front seat. The first thing Nick saw was Natalie leaning over the body. He smiled. It was really good to see her, he needed a friendly face right about now.

"Hi, Nat. What's up?"

"Off hand I would say it was a body." Natalie stood up abruptly and walked over to one of the forensics people.

Nick followed her and attempted once more to engage her in conversation. "Ah, Nat, do you think you could give me a little more here?"

Natalie noticed that Joe Reese had tuned into their conversation. "Single shot, small caliber, maybe a 22. Too small to be the cause of death. I'll send the prelim to you at the station as soon as I am done." With that she got into her car and drove off quickly.

Nick finished up his paperwork. He had still not received the preliminary autopsy report from Natalie. More importantly he needed to talk to her, to find out where the abrupt change in attitude had come from.

Nick arrived at the morgue just as Natalie was completing her report.

"Did you come up with anything?" Nick asked,trying to sound casual.

"Like I said 22 caliber, shot to the back. The slug is over there. That didn't kill him. He had bad coronary disease. There is evidence of acute coronary thrombosis. In short he died of an MI, probably brought on by the stress of being shot."

She took the clipboard she had been holding and shoved it at him, hitting him in the chest. "Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Her face was red. "I was at the loft this afternoon Nick."

"You left without waking me?"

"It didn't seem like a real good idea at the time, Nick. You already had company and you know what they say three's a crowd. Look..." she stammered. "I have been trying really hard not to jump to any conclusions. But I have to tell you it looked like..."

Nick sat down. "It probably looked exactly like what it was." he said quietly.

They were interrupted by the sound of Nick's cellular phone ringing.

"Knight."

"OK, I'll be right there."

"The uniforms picked up a man fitting the description of our suspect. They are bringing him in for questioning. I need to do the interview. I have to go." Nick reached out and touched her arm. Natalie pulled away quickly.

"I'll come by later and we'll talk." he said. Natalie had no response.

Nick left the station a few hours later. The suspect had confessed without too much difficulty. He had done a number of cab robberies and this one had gone bad. It would be up to the Crown to determine the charges.

He sat in the caddy. Should he go to see LaCroix first or Natalie? Maybe he could just drive into the lake. Somehow that sounded like the best option.

Nick pulled up to the Raven. He was surprised to see that it was open. Not only that but there was a line to get in that reached halfway down the block. Someone he had never seen was on the door. He managed to get in with little difficulty.

The club still showed the fallout from the events of the previous night. He spotted LaCroix seated at the end of the bar.

"Perhaps I should put decapitated corpses in the beer fridge more often, it has done wonders for business."

Nick noticed that there was not another vampire in the place, even the bartender was mortal.

"You left without saying goodbye."

"I couldn't bear to see the regret, the resentment in your eyes Nicholas."

"I have no regrets for what happened between us LaCroix." Nick placed his hand on top of LaCroix's. "But I don't want there to be any misunderstanding . I am not interested in an ongoing physical relationship with you. I'm glad that we have been able to put a lot of the pain behind us. I want us to be friends, but that is all that I want."

"You love her very much."

"Yes I do." Nick replied. There was no point in trying to hide it any longer.

"She was at the loft this afternoon, you know. I'm afraid I put you in a rather compromising situation."

"I know. I'm headed there now to try and work this out between. To try and explain."

"This is going to take some explaining, I'm afraid. I hope that she is up to it. I wish you luck. Goodnight Nicholas."

"Goodnight LaCroix, and thank you." Nick briefly embraced the older man and left.

Natalie answered the door in response to his knock. Nick was standing in the entry with a rather bedraggled looking bouquet in his hand.

"I'm afraid it's the best I could do at 4am."

Natalie's face was red and puffy from crying.

"I'm sorry you have been so hurt by this, Natalie. It seems to be something I do quite well without ever trying."

"You know Nick, I *really* don't want to talk about this right now."

"Well I think it is something we have to talk about. I'm here to apologize for hurting you, but I need a little help here. I need to know what it is that is upsetting you so much."

His comments started Natalie's tears flowing again.

"I don't know...we...the setbacks we've had lately." she sniffled.

"This has nothing to do with the setbacks."

"Nick I felt like such a idiot standing there in the loft today. I don't know what to think. Have you been stringing me along, playing me for a fool all this time?"

Nick took Natalie by the shoulders and looked her directly in the face. "You know in your heart that is not true. I have always been honest with you." he paused. "Is the reason you are so upset because I was with another man, that it was LaCroix ?"

Natalie had always considered herself liberal, open minded. She had gay friends. It was hard for her to admit, even to herself, that this was more than a little bit of what was bothering her.

Her feelings were beginning to soften. "That is not too P.C. to admit these days."

"It may not be politically correct these days, but it is honest and that is what we need to be right now." It was Nick's turn to be uncomfortable. He turned away from her.

"This is really hard for me to talk about." he took a deep breath and continued. "You must have guessed that in the past LaCroix and I were lovers." he hurried on without giving her time to respond. "I'm sorry if this offends you. It tends to be part of the master vampire/fledgling thing. At least it was for us. The relationship was not always a consensual one."

Natalie's heart broke for him. She leaned her head against his back and rubbed his shoulder. She sensed that it would be easier for him to talk without facing her.

"When I got back to the loft this morning he was waiting for me. I've never seen him so hurt, so vulnerable. He needed me, all of me not some anonymous body. My love, my acceptance. I just couldn't reject him. Giving him my body was the easy part, forgiving him for the past, now that was tough."

The depth of his humanity, his compassion never failed to astonish her. Especially since they were the traits he so often failed to acknowledge in himself. Natalie came around to face him and took him in her arms.

Nick continued. "It is you that I love Natalie, it is you that I want more than anything else in the world. But if you don't want to see me anymore, I'll understand."

Natalie looked up and answered him the best way she could think of. She kissed him warmly on the lips. "It seems like I've been jumping to some pretty wrong conclusions after all. Come on," she said, taking him by the hand. "Let's sit down"

"Actually, right now, I'd *really* prefer to stand." he grinned in response to her puzzled look. "Never mind, bad joke."

They settled on the couch, in each others arms.

"What's going to happen with you two now?"

"We talked today and I made it clear that the only thing I was interested in was his friendship. He seemed OK with that, but you know LaCroix, only time will tell."

Natalie yawned. "We should really both get some sleep."

Nick glanced outside at the rapidly brightening sky. "It looks like you have a houseguest for the day. You go on upstairs, I'll crash here."

"Come upstairs with me Nick."

"Nat...."

"No pressure, no expectations. I promise. I just want you close to me." she pulled him to his feet. He followed her upstairs.

"Oh, I get it!" she said as they headed up the stairs, she shoved him in the arm.

The End

Comments welcome
Kathy 103045.2473@Compuserve.com